~*Kites: Crash Landed*~

The larger the budget, the finer the star cast… the better the propaganda, advertise and controversies… the bigger the expectations from a film. This all falls in a p lace for a movie like KITES. Kites has all the big names attached with it, Hritik Roshan, Barbara Moi (Bigger because of her photo shoots and the Hritik-Suzzane hullabaloo), Anurag Basu (I loved his direction in Life in a metro and Gangster), Rakesh Roashan and Rajesh Roshan.
Well, have you ever heard of a hindi phrase “दूर के ढोल सुहावने होते हैं” or in English "The drums sound better at a distance" (Oops in the lingo of Kites (in Spanish) it would be tambor sonido mirarse bueno de distancia or something like that).

Well somehow I managed to watch this movie and I found it painfully slow and totally confused one.

Plot: J (it was Jay or Jai???), is a paltry nobody in Las Vegas who wants to rake in the big $$$ as soon as possible by marrying green card seeking illicit immigrants for a large fee. Beside our J (does it stands for Jack-of-all-trades???) also gives Salsa classes to Gina (Kangana Ranaut) and tru to lure her to woos his way into her family, which comprises of ruthless casino owner Bob ( Kabir Bedi) and his son Tony (Nick Brown). At a family event, J meets Natasha (Barbara Mori), the fiancée of Tony and one of the illegal girls whom Jay got married. Their collaboration leaves Tony’s suspicions sufficiently aroused and there after follows a hackneyed progression of riotous uproar which leads to some weird heist, fighting and the love birds runs to same them from wrath.

What happened next?

To know more!!

Read some reviews or go to Wikipedia (but do not go to watch the movie)!!
The Good: Before thrashing the movie, I would like to tell some good things about आईटी।

1. Music: When I heard it for the first time, the first word came to my mind was “WHAT THE CRAP!!! This is not anticipated from Rajesh Roshan” but after 4-5 hearing I kindaa started loving them and within a week time it was on my playlist. In Tum bhi ho wahi Suraj Jagan's screams his trademark full throat rendition to croon this track along with Vishal Dadlani. This song has a punch in it which will force you to listen to it. Dil kyun ye mera and Zindagai are good but what stole my heart was the Tum bhi ho wahi (Remix version), Fire (marked by a long overture, electronic resonance and brawny arrangement of orchestra. It sounds like a track to be used as a background score.) and 'Kites in the sky'(simply beautiful lyrics by Asif Ali Beg. This one is crooned by Suzanne Dmello (steals the limelight because of her heartfelt rendition), Javed Dayma and Hrithik (joins the stage for around a minute but still holds his stage well enough to leave an Impact. The true gem of the album). Overall the music of the film is fresh and well experimented and provided a welcome change from the monotony of the present day music.

2. Dance: Though there were very few dance sequences in Kites (may be they want to match the requirement of international cinema) but the sequence of the 'Fire' featuring Kangana Ranaut and Hrithik was simply awesome.

3. Cinematography: Ayananka Bose’s cinematography is splendid. He beautifully captured not only the serene beauty of Mexican desert or the luxurious casinos in Las Vegas but also captured the emotions perfectly.

The Bad: Visually, KITES is thespian and never fails to make an ample impact, but it stagger drastically in various departments.

1. Story: The story was way-beyond-the-world kindda of story. It was a perfect bhelpuri of K. Balachander’s Ek Duuje Ke Liye, Tony Scott’s Revenge (watched this one yesterday and was totally shocked) and Roshan’s very own Koyla (* SRK and Madhuri). The story is totally predictable and unrealistic.

2. Cinematography: I praised it a few lines above but only because of the serene landscapes, otherwise you will be tired of Hrithik’s close up shots (almost every 20-30 sec there will be a close up shot of him, where he will be shaking and trembling his lips or crying or howling…….. (Dude!!! Give me a break!! We know he looks nice but I don’t want to see him as a screenshot for half the movie).
3. Slow motion shot: Kites have a way too many slow motion shots (even more than YRF films) and it is totally unbearable and it forced me too yawn and finally to sleep after some time. Why so many slow-mo shots Mr. Basu??

4. Overacting: this was true for all the lead characters!! You remember a promo where Hrithik says “Bolo Pakaun kya??” and he did that wonderfully by his whining, howling and cryi

The ugly and the most importantly: Direction: After LIAM and Gangster, I was a big fan of Mr. Basu but this movie left me dumbstruck. I am still confused what exactly he wanted Hrithik to portray, a passionate aficionado or a bare-chested eye-candy? Barbara looks nice at places but was so inconsistent.

So in other words, besides, personage brilliance, Kites flew erratically and finally crash lands on the pocket of the movie goers!!! In three words, I will define the movie as “Exteriorizar chingando mierda" or something of that sort (I tried to change words directly to spanish :P)